Getting Back On Track.

OK I'm getting a little deeper than i should,but its just coming out and its hard to stop it once it gets flowing.I'm going to get back to telling you where my life has went from there,but first you need to know how I'm able to say that there is nothing to bad that you can do that i haven't done or done worse.So now you guys know that i gave up my only daughter and treated her mom like crap,I've done drugs most of my life so far and i show no signs of slowing down.Now I'm going to let you guys in on a secret that I've never ever shared with another human being and that is that i have a problem with masturbating.I'm not saying once or twice a week I'm saying that still til this day i struggle with it and to let you know how bad it used to be ill tell you that once when i was about 14 i found a video that my mom had made for my step dad and yes it was very graphic,but i was so sick that i would watch it when my parents would leave and i would masturbate while i watched it.I think now the door is open and you can see that I'm not going to hide anything so that maybe if you read this you will feel like i might know where you are at in your life.Ive went down some bad roads in my life and it doesn't stop there.So now I'm trying to deal with the stuff that I've done,the people I've hurt and the drug use all at the time when i should be getting an education,but I'm the one who wanted to be a man remember?I'm not doing well in life at all,but still on the outside everybody just see's the hard noised,don't care about nothing person i was trying to portray and i was getting better at covering it all up or you could say that i was becoming a professional hurt hider.Now i knew that crying was supposed to make you feel better it just didn't take it away i still had to face the fact that i was the one who did and was still doing all this crazy stuff to myself and to the people around me.I can say that for many years that if you wanted to get something from me like to have me show you love or respect and share my money with you all you had to do was be my friend because they would always get the best of me,my money,my time,and my respect.I treated my family and the people who really loved me like trash and I'm guilty of it even today.Well its out there now I'm as low as people thought i was and i had even more problems than they knew about so don't think that you are nothing because of some bad decitions you have made in your life or because you've hurt people around you or even that you have a dark secret that you have never told anyone.I'm here to tell you that there is a way for it to get better and i will share that as i go on so goodbye till next time.